In here, I don’t hesitate about what I write coz I think I don’t know most of the readers, or most of the readers don’t know me, or there’s just no one who’ll read them. Yeah LOL
Anyways, I’ve been in a dramatic state lately. I don’t know why…. No, I know why, maybe I just don’t like to admit it. Wanna know why?
*sigh* Reading romance books just turned me into a hopeless romantic in an instant. I was just being happy-go-lucky before!!! I didn’t care that no one’s paying much interest to me. I’m just wishing and waiting for him. Then I hit the shelves once again, and here I am trying hard not to sound desperate. I know I’m being ridiculous but I just wanna let it out. I already said much in my diary entry today, which took 3 full pages, I don’t even know why I write so long for one day diary entry but anyway back to the topic.
Maybe the past just made me feel like this.
Don’t tell anyone but the past is coming back. The “pasts” are coming back.
Warning!!! If you know me, and you read this, I beg you to keep your mouth shut. I’m letting it out here please just cooperate lol.
The first past, well I’m wondering why he still greets me every time it’s “our” day. Well, of course it’s “our” day before we broke up. Anyhow, he greeted me last night.
Right now, I’m thinking of turning this blog into an anonymous one so no one will know it’s me sharing this but whatever. And we talked. And while I was writing my diary earlier, memories flooded back. And…. I know I’ve moved on, don’t doubt me coz I’m sure okay! Maybe it’s just that I missed the times, and you know it left me happy thoughts. Though right now, I’m still figuring out why he still greets me whenever and calls me whatever. *wink* Maybe it’s because he’s just plain sweet, which is what I liked about him ever since.
The second one, well he’s the serious situation. He’s planning to ask for another chance, he haven’t said it officially but it’s obvious. Don’t ask me how come coz I just know. Well, you see, between the two of us, it’s been complicated like ever since. We’re like… on off on off on off. I give him a chance, he’s okay then he just goes off. I give him another chance, then it just results like that again. I gave him lot of chances you know, 3 I think. On the third, I thought everything’s gonna be okay at last, but it was the worst. Til we came to the part that we didn’t talk for a long while, and everything just went boom! The next thing I know, I was hurt. Didn’t see it coming. Honestly, I was tired of giving him chances but I was in love so I thought I’ll give him another chance when out of the blue he just said he likes someone else. He didn’t know anything, of course. He was oblivious of what I feel coz I’m a good pretender. *wink* He asked if it’s okay, I happily said yes and that I’m happy for him. Deep inside, I was struggling to move on. Enough of that, now I’m happily moved on he came back. Apparently, some of our friends told him he wasted someone like me. That slapped him. And he’s been getting my attention, but I’m tired. People do get tired. For me, I only go exhausted, and tired only when I can’t take things anymore. So when I say tired, it’s to the extent. Meaning, I don’t think I’ll let him back anymore. I got broken, had a hard time moving on, but no one really knew I had a hard time coz I pretended to people that I’m perfectly fine. Only few of my trusted and ever loving friends knew what I really feel. *wink*
What a long post to read, I didn’t realize I said too much already. But you wouldn’t tell right? LOL who am I kidding. Whatever, enough of the winks lol