I was not in a really good mood earlier, but I’m trying to put up positive energy inside me. Boredom got its way to my nerves, and when my nerves get bothered I tend to be moody or something. I just found that out recently. I’m even thinking that maybe I have a disorder or something, maybe I’m bipolar!! But I discarded the ridiculous thought in my head.
Since I’m kinda controlling myself, I had a hard time earlier coz I logged in to Facebook and he messaged me. He kinda got me to the edge coz he like… what’s the best word to describe it…. scolded? accused? whatever. He kind of like said, “at last you’re online”, sarcastically. Since I’m not in the mood, that ticked me off. “Your fucking sarcasm won’t help you right now”, I thought to myself. But since it’s not in my nature to piss off people, even though I would’ve had the pleasure to piss him off earlier, I didn’t and held back my annoyance.
I told him, “I’m too lazy to go online.” Yeah, I still managed to let out a piece of my mind. I knew that he’s gonna be pissed off with that statement. And since I started already, why not continue? I’m such a bitch sometimes. Most especially when I’m on my bitchy side. Hey, maybe I really am bipolar!! LOL But I never like hurting people, please note that. I even took the initiative–as always!! Even though it annoyed me more that I’m the one who has to say sorry because of nothing in particular!! Just to give him his own peace of my mind, and make him think that I’m okay, that we’re okay, even though we’re so far off from okay!–to say sorry.
The past few days I’ve been cold to him. I asked one my best friends,– I don’t know if he thinks we’re best friends but I really think of him as a best friend of mine coz I can really confide in him and tell him random and weird things–if what I do to him is being cold. At first, he said I’m being soft coz if I’m being cold I would’ve been prank to him and I would’ve told him the truth even though it would hurt him. But in the end, he told me that I really am being cold lol
Anyways, speaking of best friends, I was wondering earlier, “How can my best friends put up with all my drama?” coz as far as I know myself, whenever I tell them my whatnots they always welcome me whole heartedly. You know the best part? They never fail to make me feel okay.
Originally, I have one BFF. That’s Ashlyn. She’s been the best since freshman year in HS. But I also consider Ryel one coz the three of us are inseparable and do things together. Though college had been unfair to me coz whenever the 3 of us plan things I always end up not being able to do it with them. It’s frustrating you know, coz I really miss the 2 of them so much.
I should ask them to hang out sometime, since school’s gonna start soon and we’re not gonna have time again.
Anyways, I also consider Kristine as a best friend already. Or I don’t know, but seriously she’s been the one by my side ever since college started. I always confide to her the instant I have something to share. So maybe I can consider her also. Plus, we have the same interests and still have our different opinions but WE SO LOVE TAYLOR SWIFT.
I may as well consider my sister here. Her name’s Felise, and she’s a year younger than me. We’re really like best friends coz we don’t leave each other out of nowhere though we have our fights. but we always update each other, even though sometimes she can’t say any advice to my problems coz she doesn’t really think mature sometimes. She still thinks as a child, sorry sis lol.
I do have another one. His name is Ren. We call each other, “Bes”. He’s also one who puts up with my weirdness as much as I put up with his. Mostly, girls. lol. I’ve always been supportive of him anyway, from girls, to his band, and school.
And then there’s Kenneth! I don’t know if we’re best friends… Maybe not. Coz we seldom hang out. But he’s the best in making me laugh, he’s hilarious without making much effort to be =)))) And he gives pretty good advices, listens well, and weird as well.
The best friend I was talking about earlier, the unnamed one, is Marc. Yeahhhh he’s been a good friend since freshman year too. Plus he’s weird! So we can talk weird lol
There’s Mariel. We call each other, “Bisprin”. She’s my best friend when we’re first year. And has been. but we’re not able to talk much anymore since Senior Year. But I still love her.
Ian. Yeahhhh lol we call each other “Espren”. Hm… We’re really close, but since college we didn’t really get to talk much. We used to talk on the phone for hours before and talk about nonsense things. Most especially his cats. I used to get amused by them coz he made them his wallpaper. And they’re adorably cute. Lately, we haven’t had a good conversation unlike those before.
Before, I would’ve put up a lot of names in this list. But when I realized the true meaning of best friend, it came down to few people. And I’m really fortunate and thankful to have them. 🙂