The last time I felt like this seemed like a long time ago. After all that happened, I thought it would take me a long time to be able to feel again. But right now, I can say that I’m starting to feel again. Like he said, the wall has a hole now. And it keeps getting bigger. But I can’t say that I don’t like it. It’s just that I’m not sure where this will lead to, or end to. I’m afraid of getting hurt again, and left behind. Though he never forgets to tell me that he’ll never leave me, who knows right? Especially when there’s a year to wait and a lot of obstacles to break through. What just got me into the brighter side is that he made me believe that it’s possible to make this work. And I’m actually keeping my fingers crossed. He got under my skin, but as much as possible I’m keeping myself from getting attached which seems impossible and a joke at the moment because when we’re together we’re like glue. And every time after he walks me home I keep wishing that we have more time to spend together. And it makes me wonder what we would be like after a year, and if we could survive this uncertainty we’re in right now. All we know is the feeling, and that if this fails we’re both gonna get hurt. And I’m fucking starting to fall in love. And this is gonna suck.
Because I don’t know what I’m gonna do if the other guys are seriously still waiting for me, and start showing up after a year.