An update

It’s been what, 8 months since we first met. And you’re still waiting. I still can’t help but wonder until when you’ll wait and until when this is gonna last. We’ve already had our resets for like 3, or maybe 4 times, I think. Those times I almost gave up, but you held on and told me to keep trying. And I did. And we got better, one time we got worse, but the ‘better’ part was still dominant.

Sometimes, you wonder about my thoughts. I don’t tell you everything, and you know that. But now, I’m sharing to you a glimpse of some I often think about.

What is the silver lining here? Will everything be worth it in the end? Are you really different from others, or are there others better than you? Are you really deserving? What awaits us in the end? What if all this is just something we imagined, and stayed better being imaginary? What if we don’t have something lasting? What if in the end, we realize that all we had was just some attraction or infatuation of some kind, and not some love that we thought we built and had?

I’m scared. I’m scared I’ll feel too much I won’t be able to handle it, because if I won’t be able to I’m sure I’ll push you away. I’m scared that when I start to feel too much that’s the time you’ll leave me too.

All in all, I just want you to know that I will always respect whatever your decision may be.


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